My Bipolar shows when I smile – JackKnife

My Bipolar shows when I smile.

From the increasing number of times
where I was too busy to brush my teeth or
trapped in my bed – because I didn’t have energy to move.

You wouldn’t really notice,
except for when I’m happy
and my smile reaches up towards my eyes,
there is a darkness spreading – a gap – one tooth wide.

You see, sometimes my flame,
it burns so brightly it takes me with surprise.
I have so much fuel that must be used
but taking care of myself? There simply isn’t time.

And sometimes my flame, it just
dims so quickly – a glowing ember
of what might have been – barely existing
so dark, I can’t even sleep