I feel the darkness in me-

and it’s slowly rising
  Tears well up in my eyes-
and I doubt if i’m alive &
you say you love me 
  it’s a different ball game now
i’m not the same person- 
you used to know & joke about

  I’ve seen worlds of pain –
blood shed before my eyes
  Raped and abused –
and razor blade filled lullabies 
  I’ve been on so much meds-
that I’d just black out 
so much meth, 
that I’d forget perceptions of time
  & reality-
It’s all one big blurred up line

    Half the **** y’all talk about –
I can’t remember
I just smile-
and nod-like
“Yeah holy **** it’s been forever”
  can you imagine-
        not remembering your life,
        the friends you knew-
the people who hugged you while you cried

    Yet you’ll never know
cause I don’t think I’ll ever tell you
  this darkness rising-
it likes to keep me isolated


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