Closet Space – Marz

A tangle of clothes stamped into the floor
I experienced the world behind a half-closed door because
Life was too much when it was left wide open and
When love clawed through the crack,
I could stave off the emotion–
       I did not feel.

Depression, the lover I couldn’t release,
Held me under a heap of acid-washed jeans
Stashed in a closet, my fifteen year old self drowned in
Dreams of lithium and suicide and help, and felt things
       I still don’t understand.

Three years later, my lover and I parted ways, leaving
A dip in the carpet contoured to our shape from years of sinking
Like a cigarette burn into the dusty carpet of the closet floor.
But I am not hatches of splitting thread anymore.
           Now I am human.

Damaged Package – Anonymous

Her body a package
Through the assembly line she went

Somewhere, somehow
she got damaged
Tangled up in the claws of harsh machines
Scratched and dented
Bruised and scarred
and not quite
finished.

The parts of her most private,
most shredded
Below neat fold lie proof
that she left the machinery imperfect
and kissed by death himself.

These patches of scars not seen by others
Only by her eyes as she unfolds herself
Mesmerized by footprints left
by the past only she knows

IT – By Tami D. Frost

“IT”

I wear the mask of normal
while inside torn apart
I awake each day not knowing
in what mood I may start.
As I try hard not to let IT
take control of my head,
some days without warning
IT takes all of me instead.
Each time IT comes to visit
I’m afraid it will show
the ugliness and hatefulness
IT always has in tow.
Each time this feeling hits me,
inside my head I shout,
please stop, I’m scared and go away
never come back, stay out!
I feel as though I’m losing it,
falling off the edge.
But somehow, someway I manage to just teeter on that edge.
My heart starts pounding as my mind races,
my thoughts are out of control,
I feel as though I’m someone else
and they’re trying to take my soul.
I know if I hang in there, myself will reappear
and just as quickly as IT started, IT just might disappear.
I do and say things I regret, and to myself that’s such a threat.
I feel at times that no one truly understands,
because even I have questions,
and that it’s out of my hands.
But with my faith in God, my son
My friends, family and a little care,
I feel I have a chance at life,
and I know I have a lot to share.
God has blessed me in many ways,
and I owe my life to Him.
He was my rock and guider,
when I wanted to give up or in.
But that would be giving in to,
the IT I feel is sin.
Bipolar is a disorder that consumes your
every thought, and when in the
grasp of ITs strong control,
you say things, do things, act in ways
you never thought were possible.
The thought of IT having control,
is almost an unbearable thought.
People just don’t understand,
that IT comes and IT goes,
when we least expect it.
And can cause an otherwise
normal, dare I say, person
to sin cause violence and literally
lose their mind.
But with the right care and medicine,
we as the holder of IT,
can live a life as close to normal,
as we will ever be allowed.
Never quit, and never give in or up.

“Be Brave”

image

This brought a smile to my face this morning.  I thought I would send this out on my blog.

“Be Brave” you may be a little fish in a big pond…  But you are you…  And you deserve to be seen.

Out of darkness cometh light

Riding lifes rollercoaster,
It’s ups and it’s downs, 
From the darkness into the light,
Night into day,
Day into night,

Sometimes there are highs,
Sometimes there are lows,
Sometimes you find yourself upside down,
Feeling like there’s no way back up,

We just have to ride it,
With all its highs,
With all its lows,
Out of darkness cometh light