I have always had trouble with sleep, even as a little girl I suffered with insomnia.
I was scared of the monsters that hid under my bed!
These weren’t your cuddly Sully types found in Disney’s “Monsters Inc”, they were dark mysterious monsters that fed off your fear… With big eyes that glowed in the dark, and sharp teeth that would snap you in two.
There wasn’t anything special about my monsters… Everybody has them… Because they’re the unknown, unneeded and unhelpful thoughts, even psychosis which as a child would only be seen as strange behaviour… Or an imaginary friend. As I grew up I realised these monsters actually hidden deep inside my head.
The mind is a powerful thing, it can create whatever your imagination will allow.
Dreams have become more vivid, more real… I’m 33 now and I sometimes still wake up crying thinking a friend or family member has been hurt by my actions whilst ill.
I distance myself from others when the dreams get worse. I don’t want to harm anyone like my dreams depict.